The Mercy of My Mistakes: Why My "Wrong" Choices Were Part of God’s Right Plan
- by Sebastien Hotte
The Sovereignty of the "Wrong" Choice: How God Redeems Our Regrets
Many of us carry the heavy weight of "what if." We replay past mistakes like a film, convinced that a single detour ruined the destination God had for us. We tell ourselves, "If only I had chosen differently," believing our missteps have taken us off God's intended path.
But recently, a profound dream shifted my entire perspective from what I thought I had lost to what God had actually saved.
The Dream: When "Right" Choices Lead Astray
In this dream, I was reliving certain moments in my past. These specific moments all had one thing in common. They were situations where I’ve always felt that I made a mistake or made the wrong choice. However, in the dream, I had total control. I was finally able to make the "right" choices.
But as the dream unfolded, I saw the consequence of my "perfection." After making these supposedly right choices, my life ended up being completely different, and I ended up being far from God. I was stuck, and it felt like I had completely diverted from the calling that God had for me.
This was a divine revelation. It challenged the very notion that my human perception of "right" aligns with God's ultimate design. It led me to look deeper at the theological tension between our will and God’s sovereignty.
The Great Tension: Calvinism, Arminianism, and the Middle Path
To understand why my "mistakes" were actually mercies, we have to look at how we view God’s will. In Christian thought, we often lean toward one of two pillars:
· Calvinism (Divine Sovereignty/Election): This view emphasizes God's absolute sovereignty. He is the primary mover, choosing His elect before the foundation of the world. In this framework, every event, including our perceived "wilderness" seasons, is part of His sovereign plan for our sanctification. It affirms that God’s purposes will ultimately prevail, regardless of human actions. As Ephesians 1:4-5 states, "He chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him... in love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will."
· Arminianism (Free Will/Prevenient Grace): This view highlights human response and responsibility. God, in His grace, offers salvation to all, but individuals must freely choose to accept or reject it. While God knows the future, He does not unilaterally determine every choice. The emphasis here is on God extending prevenient grace (grace that "goes before" to enable a response) and humanity's ability to cooperate with or resist that grace. John 3:16 beautifully articulates this: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
I believe the truth is found in the middle. God is outside of time, so He knows who will choose Him and who won’t. That being said, we still have choices to make. But here is the key, once we say "yes" to Him, God becomes sovereign over our lives. This means that even if we make decisions that seem "wrong," He leads us back to the path He has for us because we are now His elect. Sometimes, the things that seem "bad" turn out to be for our ultimate good.
The Lawyer and the Wilderness
I see this most clearly when I look back at my life at 19 years old. At that time, I was attending college in a pre-law program. Academically, things were going very well, I was an honor student with the marks to be accepted into Law at McGill University.
On the surface, I was a success. But behind the scenes, I was falling apart. I was living on my own, working 30 hours a week, and taking seven courses. I was struggling with a deep depression that led me to drink. I would consume 10 to 12 beers a night while watching movies, go to bed at 4:00 AM, and then wake up at 8:00 AM to take two shots of vodka for breakfast before heading to school. I did this until I got very sick. I dropped from 190 lbs down to a frail 143 lbs. Eventually, I dropped out of school.
For most of my life, I regretted this. I wished I had done things differently. But through my dream, the Lord showed me the truth: if I had made the "right" decision and stayed in school, I would have completely derailed in my walk with Him.
The reality is that academic success and the gaining of knowledge had turned me into a very arrogant "know-it-all." I had a cold heart, and my ambitions had become more important than people. If I had kept going on that road and became a lawyer, I don’t even want to think about the man I would have become.
I had idols in my heart that needed to be removed, and God knew exactly what to do. He allowed me to fall into my addictions so that I would be saved from that future and learn to walk in humility and love. My long season in the wilderness was not a mistake, it was crucial to my calling. God is more preoccupied with the character of His elect than their worldly success.
A Message of Hope: Moving Forward Without Regret
If you have given your life to Christ but live in regret, unable to understand why certain things have happened, I want to call you to faith.
We must realize that for the child of God, no experience is wasted. As Romans 8:28 promises, all things work together for good for those who love Him. By the power of the Spirit, He is the one who transforms the heart. By His grace and mercy, He will not let His elected children fall.
Your "failures" may have been the very things that kept you from a version of yourself that didn't need God. Your "wrong" turns may have been the only way to get you to the place where you would finally listen to His voice.
Move forward. Work toward your sanctification and put your trust in Him even when life is not going the way you think it should… especially when it's not going the way you think it should. He is the Master Architect, and He is finishing the good work He started in you.