Taming the Temper
“A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.”
Proverbs 12:16
I’m not someone who flies off the handle easily, but I’ve got my moments—trust me. There are a few things that can get a slow burn going right under my collar: bad drivers, bad officiating, bad coffee, and manipulative commercials. Ask my wife—these things get me fired up.
I mean seriously, if you’re going to drink coffee, it shouldn’t come from a giant tin and be brewed into weak, brown water. But I digress.
Every man has his trigger. That one situation or comment that just gets under the skin. For me, it’s not usually a shouting match—I’m more of a sarcastic remark kind of guy—but being insulted without provocation? That’s a different level. That’s where the real heat can rise. The kind that boils over into vindictive thoughts or rash responses.
For a lot of men, being insulted is a deep cut.
Respect often matters to us as much—if not more—than love.
And when respect is threatened, when someone takes a shot at our integrity or character, the natural instinct is to erupt.
Over time, I’ve learned something important about temper:
Perspective and compassion are the tools that tame it.
(Yes, I know the Bible says be angry, but do not sin. That’s a whole other beast—righteous anger is real. But let’s be honest, most of our outbursts aren’t all that righteous.)
Perspective helps us pause long enough to consider what’s behind the offense.
It opens the door to context and lets us ask, Why did they act this way?
Compassion takes us further—it breaks through our defenses and lets us see people.
It turns the spotlight from what was said or done to the person who said or did it.
Together, these tools help protect our integrity, even when someone’s trying to tear it down. They create space—not only for us to respond with grace, but for the other person to reflect, repent, or even soften in return.
We know what Proverbs says:
“A soft answer turns away wrath.”
That kind of response comes from being calm in the storm.
So, let me ask: Who’s sitting with you in the storm?
Does Jesus get to weigh in before you react?
Or is your temper calling the shots?
Life throws some tough situations our way.
People’s words and actions can feel like well-aimed missiles.
But firing back with rage? That’s the fool’s way.
Pulling the trigger might feel powerful, but it’s hollow.
Real strength is shown in restraint.
Staying calm in the storm speaks louder than the sharpest words.
It’s a testimony of character—of discipline, self-control, and spiritual authority.
It reveals a life that’s not ruled by emotion, but led by the Spirit.
“Stop being angry! Turn from your rage!
Do not lose your temper—it only leads to harm.
For the wicked will be destroyed,
but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land.”
Psalm 37:8–9
Let’s not just have a strong presence—let’s have a God-controlled presence.
The calm in the storm is more powerful than the loudest outburst.
Written by: Gabe Voorhees